Friday, September 5, 2014

Nosy rude strangers

So, I was just reading about my friend's experience on Facebook when she joined a Yoga class.

A woman approaches her and says the class is really hard and it's really hot and she should probably do another class.

One of the comments on her post is from another friend who said she was in a yoga class once when the instructor came up to her and told her she was doing the pose incorrectly and should leave the class because she was upsetting the energy in the room.

How horrible. Now for my experience:

I was at Meijer a few months ago and my daughter was tired and cranky. She was whining and crying and throwing fits all over the store so finally I just headed to cash out.

I'm standing in line while my daughter was sitting on the floor, somewhat making a scene and this white-haired woman in the line next to mine says this:
"Are you abusing your child?"
Stunned I think I said:
"Are you serious?"
She then went on to complain that she could hear my daughter screaming all over the store.
My response:
"She's having a meltdown. It's what four year olds do."
I think I went on to say something about, if I was abusing my child I'd be hitting her.
An older woman in a wheelchair also in the line next to mine said:
"I think she's just tired."
"Yes. Thank you. She's very tired."
This exchange just ruined my weekend. As you can see, months later, I'm still not over it. In fact, I stayed away from Meijer for a while because I didn't want to run into that horrid woman again.

 I thought back to it after reading an op-ed in the New York Times this week by a man who has two teenage daughters. He was taking their picture on a ferry to an island he goes to annually. These pictures are a tradition he does every year.  I think he was implying he was an amateur photographer and took a long time to get the right picture.
Near the end of the photo shoot some man approached the girls in front of the dad and said something about the girls being exploited and they didn't have to put up with it.
The op-ed writer told the man he was the girls' father and the guy left.
It turns out the girls are adopted from China and the intrusive man, who turned out to work for Homeland Security, thought the dad was taking pictures of the girls to be sold or used for some illegal jail bait use.
The dad was very offended and when he told the girls why the homeland security guy was concerned, they were grossed out by the implications.

The purpose of the piece was about intrusive strangers somehow feeling comfortable making accusations against people, especially in public. I mean really. What happened to manners?
To me, it's pretty easy to spot someone abusing their child. I've heard many parents slapping their kids in stores, although not necessarily seen it.
I hate to say this, but spanking isn't illegal.
I remember this one trip, California 2004, me, Julius, Dad, Mom, Michelle and Nick in a mini van. Nick was really acting up and my mother said:
"I think someone needs a spanking."

spanking photo: Fresh Coffee Spanking Freshercoffeespanking.jpg

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